Chased by Children

Couponing.....it's come to this.

Necessity is the mother of invention.  Right?  Well, that little phrase has nothing to do with this post.  Except the necessity part.  And maybe the mother part (I do have three kids)....but the rest of it you can just throw out.

Like almost everyone I know I am barely scraping by (please note the dangling preposition and realize that it's an indication of just how desperate I am).  I'm so broke that I can barely PAY attention  (stop groaning, you).   Phrases, like that one,  have started resonating with me that before I never fully understood.

"Trying to make a dollar out of 15 cents" sounds so charming until you really have to do it (and cashiers at Meier have no patience for the tune that accompanies it sung at the top of your lungs during checkout).  "Robbing Peter to pay Paul" makes me wonder where Peter lives and how hard it would be to get into his house.  Because Paul is starting to get aggressive about getting paid, and I ain't got it.  I digress...

All of this désespéré has culminated in my need to ensure that whatever I  spend is absolutely the least amount that can be spent.  This means my cart no longer runneth over (unless my mother is in town and she's footing the bill).  And everything in my cart has a coupon for it, sometimes "stacked" (which is black belt couponing lingo for two coupons on the same item -- one from the store and one from the manufacturer).   You live for the deals where you stack coupons and then get a fabulous catalina (those coupons that spit out after you check out) or gift card back. 

I'm a newbie.  I just bought my first coupon carrier (I had been carrying them around in increasingly large envelopes).  I just discovered Jill Cataldo who is amazing and does make it a little more fun (even the poverty stricken like fun). 

I'm pretty sure any minute now I will stop being able to function in regular society...you will just find me stumbling through the aisle of Target mumbling about expired coupons and their b#$sh*t catalina policy.  Don't worry.  I'll post about it.

Am I allowed to celebrate Labor Day?

Being one of the mass unemployed people in the U.S. on Labor Day, I wonder what I should be celebrating.  Does that sound bitter? (what? shut it). 

I just hope that before this year is over, I have found a beautiful professional job that fills me with satisfaction (and fills my bank account with moocho cash) but allows me to continue to coach and be involved with my kids school.  Is that too much to hope for? probably.  But I hope next labor day I get the day off work. 

Happy Labor Day!

My inbox

Chi-Chi:   When are we having lunch?

Lola:  Call Me B^tch!  (I know she means that as an endearment).

Giggles:  Knock, Knock

Sissy, Sher, and MP:   Are you coming to my party?

Danni:  Did I do something to piss you off?

Joss:  Let's go to dinner this week.

Mickey:  Did I do something to piss you off?  Can we have dinner Thursday?  Even if Gus can't join us, we need to catch up.

My Mother:  Call your mother!

Dilly:  Call your sister in law!  or your brother!  no, scratch that, call your sister-in-law.

In other words, even though I occasionally "hole up" and kind of drop out there are still wonderful people out there that love me.  And they love me enough to be concerned.

Don't worry.  I'm getting there.

Little Moments of Desperation

I know I've tried to keep my attitude in a positive place during this time of trial but there are moments....little moments....where the dark possibilities in my life all come crashing down on my brain at once. 

Usually when I'm driving past Target...not driving in because I can't afford to fill up a cart on a whim.

Or when I'm looking at my bedless bedroom where I've placed my little air mattress on which I huddle most nights and try to sleep.

Or when I look at the bedless bedrooms of my daughters, when they stay overnight with me they have to huddle on the floor next to the air mattress.

But the moments usually pass quickly, usually after a nap huddled on the air mattress in the middle of the day (one of life's great pleasures).

What do you do to snap out of it?  I could use fresh new ideas.

Interview...

Yeah.  I had the interview with a certain AWESOME company.  The person I interviewed with was terrifc and kept saying, "I'm so glad to meet you.  I wish we had an open position."  Huh?

Soooooooo, they were just meeting with me IN CASE something came up.  IN CASE something came up.

I can't wait to see WHEN something will come up.  I have a feeling that it's going to be sooner than they think.

What Happens Now?

So, not for the first time, I find myself in a very weird place.  A place where the question is, "What happens now?"

Well, as Gunny (my much, much older brother) has always told me. "tough times wouldn't be tough if you knew when they were going to end".  And that is so true.  It's the not knowing that drives you up the wall.

However, yesterday I slept in a little late.

I painted at my new house.

I got a new computer.

I got a call from a person who wants to interview me.

I had a picnic with my daughters and got to tell them that I will have more time with them for a while.

Overall, it was an awesome day.  And I have to say, I've got a good feeling about all this.

Keep praying (or your fingers crossed if you aren't a pray-er).

Thanks

Government Cheese Candidate

The King is not great with the concept of sharing.  That's not a criticism, that is a fact.  This is why we have always kept our money separate from one another.  It explains why I have always been below poverty level and he is, well, the King. Anyway, in a burst of generosity, the King presented me with two $100 gift cards for my recent trip with our children to visit my parents.  He felt it would be more convenient than cash because  I could  "pay at the pump" instead of lugging all three of our poorly-behaved children into the mini-mart.  Good plan. Well, my trip cost roughly $78.  The remainder of the two cards were mine to do with as I pleased.  I went a little crazy at Target...I don't want to get into too much detail but I did get  the BIG box of fabric softener sheets.  God help me, but I splurged.  Wahoo!! Me and the three Princesses got to the top of the check-out line.  I handed the woman the two gift cards and said, "please put $20 on this one and the rest on this one".  She did several different things with her register, she swiped the cards in various orders and ways, then she picked up the phone.  Here is what I heard (along with my children and the 6 people in line behind me): "Yes, there is a woman here and I am having trouble with her food stamp cards." FOOD STAMP CARDS!  Now, I have had better hair days, and as my nine-year-old pointed out, I did have a hole in the seam of my shirt, but FOOD STAMPS?  I was immediately the same shade of red as her Target bullseye shirt. The speechlessness lasted roughly 3 milliseconds until the words, "They're GIFT cards!"  came spilling out in a very loud manner.   She raised an eyebrow, and then just swiped the $100 (which was more than the amount) and handed them both back to me and said, " The whole amount went on this card, call your card company if you have a problem". As I pushed my cart out to my luxury vehicle and drove to my 4,000 sq. ft house, I tried to put it in perspective.  There are lots of terrific women out there who feed their children with food stamps.  I'm lucky to not be one of them (at the moment).

Out

What's with the title?  Currently the King and I are out of many things: jobs, money, time, patience.  By some fluke, or divine joke, we find ourselves jobless at the same time.  I left my glamorous, moderate paying, HR job to launch my own ultra-cool boutique consulting firm (think James Bond doing Recruiting) exactly 30 days before King George got the royal boot from his high profile position with a toy company. 

Now, we've had rough times before.  One or the other of us have been out of work at different times.  The beauty of a two income household is that there is always that other paycheck to rely upon when the chips are down (or pelting you in the head).  Unfortunately, my firm has had a rocky start.  In fact, two days after KG's unceremonious booting I lost a bit of business that would have seen us through to the end of the year.  What's the word?  UGH!

I'm praying up a storm over here, but no break in the weather.  It's raining bills.  The trips to the SuperTarget that used to bring me such joy are now painfully few and far between.  Our sense of humor has even suffered.  We can't even sit through Curb Your Enthusiasm, it just isn't funny now.

The bright side is that King George has taken over the cooking responsibilities.  Every cloud.....