Sharon and I know one another from Saint Whotheheck. She is a beautiful blond who I initially wanted to hate (did I mention a beautiful blond). However, she won me over with her snarky sense of humor and her willingness to laugh at my jokes. I think we could take over the world if we joined forces. Go here to see her brilliantly named blog. She is answering my questions there today.
1. I have a daughter who’s considered quite the spaz, but it’s because she’s brilliant and 4th graders don’t get brilliant. Were YOU considered quite the spaz in 4th grade?
Yep. And it started much sooner than 4th grade. When I was in third grade my teacher told my parents that she (I love you Mrs. Hauser if you're reading this) was concerned about how much control I wanted over the other girls. Go figure. I've always wanted to boss other girls around. Brilliant has nothing to do with it.
2. There are times I cannot keep up with your quick-witted replies…any advice for those of us who want to wow you with our wit but can’t?
Ha! You kill me. My only advice is that you are not eating enough ice cream (or custard if you have a Culver's near you). It's the secret to my success (and the size of my ass)
3. When did you reach your full height? My 5th grader is hoping she’ll be 6 ft. by 8th grade…it will help w/her supermodel goal.
First of all she could already be a supermodel. Second, a girl continues to grow until a year after she has her first cycle (wink)....I don't want to alienate all my male fans by saying anything more than that. So I reached my full height in 8th grade. I weighed 148 pounds in eighth grade which I remember being horrified about. I'm 5'10" and I would KILL to be that weight again.
4. My friend says that most women are divorced in their heads a long time before they actually ask for the divorce. Did it feel that way to you?
Yes. I think it's a long process and many of the books I've read confirm what your friend said. There is so much stigma about divorce that I think you REALLY have to decide that it is the absolute best thing for you, your children and your spouse. It's not easy.
5. British comedians or gay comedians? Or, and I think I know this one, gay British comedians?
TRANSVESTITE comedian Sharon TRANSVESTITE comedian. Eddie Izzard isn't gay he's transvestite which means he enjoys wearing women's clothes...and enjoys women. That being said, I love british humor in general. And even if Eddie Izzard were a gay woman from New Jersey I would still be a big fan.
6. What would make you feel all better? It’s hard to know a friend is sad…
This is a great question. I have a list for people who are divorcing.
....be overly nice to me at events when you see me there alone....it's weird for me to be there by myself and some people are NOT nice when they know you are divorcing...
...be overly nice to my children. they are going through the most diffcult thing and if you exclude them from events, or ignore them it makes it worse...
...be understanding if I don't always have my s(&$% together, I'm a wreak right now and probably will be for a long time...
...don't make assumptions that one of us is bad and one of us is good. There are two sides but neither of us is innocent...
...take me out for beer, ice cream, custard, or martini's often...
7. What’s the funniest family joke that no one would get? You know, one of those obscure movie quote moments, where you just say one word or one movie line and all the kids start cracking up?
8. Do you wish you were blonde? Oh wait, that's a stupid question. I mean really, doesn't everyone wish they were blonde?
I'm blond at the moment...don't look too closely at the roots.
So yes.
I'm off to Culver's right now. Chocolate mint is the flavor (and in case you're wondering, walleye is back). I WILL be cool!
Posted by: The lurker | February 15, 2009 at 11:16 AM
I just want to give you a big hug after reading your "treating divorce chicks" list! I wish I could take you out for beer, custard, martinis, and ice cream. We won't look too weird if we consume all at once will we?
Posted by: Jenn | February 15, 2009 at 04:17 PM
You name the night I'm there taking you out for beer, ice cream, whatever. We could go to the new bar in town on my side. We possibly could see British TRANSVESTITE Humor there, at least Travsvestite Karokee and we will need to include Sharon.
Posted by: The Eastsider | February 15, 2009 at 08:01 PM