Where the heck have I been you ask? In a little place I like to call "Overhelmoania". I have officially lost it. What was that? Shut is sassafrass.
I just can't seem to get out from under the mountains and mountains of laundry. I can't keep my closet organized. The number of DVDs stacked in bizarre places makes me sick. The garage is dirty and somewhat smelly. The house is a wreck. I am a wreck.
Where is the Calvary when you need them. I only have a short list of demands. And these are they:
1. I would like a complete set of same-colored towels. And no others. I would like them to be folded and put in my linen closet like the ones you see in the organizing magazines. I would like them to actually be clean and folded when I go to get one for my shower. Instead of 3 seconds after I finish a load of towels them all being used and lying on the floor of the bathroom.
2. I would like to only have pairs of socks. All the other socks should leave immediately. This ain't no disco....if you are a sock looking for your other half, look somewhere else... try the nudists behind me.
3. Why are there so many clothes in general in this abode? it seems that they are multiplying and the more I wash the more there are to be washed. Is this some sort of evil plot? Well It's Working!!! I surrender.
4. Would it be too much to ask that when I go to change the batteries in the smoke detectors, that I actually have the obscure appropriate size batteries on hand? And if I go to the trouble to go all the way to the store to get the batteries would it be too much to ask that the particular store that I go to have the batteries in a convenient location? And if that store doesn't have the batteries in a convenient location could they at least employ a person who might have some idea where they are? And if that person doesn't know where the batteries are could they possibly have the initiative to call or find a manager who might know where the battery display resides??????? Am I asking too much?
Is this too much to ask? Yeah. I think so too.
If it wouldn't be too intrusive, I'd be glad to do laundry while we are there on Thursday and Friday! I actually like to fold clothes, but I didn't when I had kids at home. That's a retiree "hobby" I guess.
Love, Mom
(Aren't you glad that Grandma eventually made me do laundry, so that I actually know HOW to do laundry?!) :)
Posted by: Sandra | February 24, 2009 at 11:40 AM
Jenny, I totally agree with you re: housework. I am in the land of overwhelmed also. I say we just buy some jumbo garbage bags and throw it all away.
I also read your mom interview and hers also. You have an awesome mom...
And I also back you up in thinking your brother pushed you down the stairs. Boys do that.
Posted by: Andrea | February 24, 2009 at 01:07 PM
Take your Mom up on the laundry deal. It is a retiree thing. Everytime my Mom comes to visit she has to do my laundry even if I tell her no, even if it just one load. Crazy but if that is what she wants to do. Luv ya!!!
Posted by: The Eastsider | February 24, 2009 at 06:35 PM
Yesterday, I stood in front of my children removing clothing piece by piece from their laundry basket, asking them to identify WHEN they wore it, WHAT they did in it, and WHY did they think it was dirty. Then, I rounded up the troops and we goose-stepped off to invade Poland.
Signed,
Laundry Nazi
Posted by: The lurker | February 24, 2009 at 09:55 PM
I see a team building session in the works. C'mon your the VP and are so creative I am certain that you can devise a wonderful exercise for your team to undertake the organization of your house. Start with a catchy title like Extreme Executive Organization (they will never know with a title like this that you are the executive and the organization is what they will be doing). Next work in some skill building like planning (where they actually have to diagram the shelving units for the linen closet), procurement (buying the same colored towels on a budget) and execution (wash, fold, store the new matching towels). Finally, make a paper certificate on your computer, insert into one of those elegant looking paper certificate holders, sign them and award them for completion of the Extreme Executive Organization course. Hey! If you can get your brother to come out and do some marine yelling like they are recruits you can even have a sequel Extreme Executive Organization Boot Camp.
Posted by: SleeplessInOL | February 24, 2009 at 09:55 PM
If all else fails get someone in to do it....or at least help you get it undercontrol.....
Just as a once off....nothing wrong with hired help LOL...
Apart from the fact that it's hard to find !
xoxo
Posted by: Dan | February 25, 2009 at 08:04 PM