Chased by Children

Pictures of Cindy Crawford, my new best friend

Why yes, Lola and I did make the bold decision to replace Buddah with Cindy Crawford...it's not just because we were mad at Buddah.  Cindy is awesome.

We were at an event here in Chicago where Cindy was also a guest.  She is even more beautiful in person and FUNNY!  She's a bit too thin...but clearly she just needs to hang out with me more.

Seriously, she was genuinely nice.  She laughed at all our dumb jokes and seemed to really appreciate her new position as one of the three amigoes (amigas?? I don't know I took german remember?). 

Here's another picture (don't tell Lola I posted it because while the green dress is lovely, this is not her best smile -- see previous post for that):

Buddah has been Replaced

It was great while it lasted but unfortunately when you refused to come to Chicago this weekend (with the lame excuse about your step-brothers wedding) Lola and I found someone to fill the void. She's not as pretty as you or as funny but she seems to like hanging out with us.

Lipstick Jungle Returns

We'd forgotten.

It's been several months and we all remember how much fun it was to get together once a week to sip some wine and watch a little beefcake here in Stepford.  We were excited to get together tonight for the show's return.

We'd forgotten how cringe-worthy the writing was and how bad the acting was...it's possibly worse this season if the premier is any indication.

One thing we didn't forget:  Va Va Va Vooooooooom.

Yeah, I think we can fit this show into our regular schedule.

I don't like to brag...about my mother.

You see, it's always worked best in our relationship if I let her brag about me. 

However, I can't help but tell you how proud I've been of her and her blog.  She's winning awards and getting published and figuring out (sort of) how to post these accomplishments into posts.  It's very exciting...right up until she started to overshadow me.

Listen, lady.  I helped you launch that little blog into the blogosphere and I can unlaunch it just as easily.  So dial it down a notch before I have to do something we will both regret.

You've been warned.

Pssst....I don't really know how to unlaunch her but if one of you do I'd be willing to pay in clip art.

The Six Million Dollar Computer

My computer has returned from it's trip to Kentucky.  I like to imagine that it's faster and stonger.  That somewhere Oscar Madison is smiling knowing that my computer can make the world a little safer (and possibly fight Sasquach)

I'm still waiting on pictures to tell you more about my FABULOUS weekend.  You won't believe it.

And the award goes to...

Holy Moly.  New Diva on the Blog has awarded me not one but two awards (with quite a bit less sarcasm than usual, ahem).  I don't deserve them.  Who am I kidding?  Yes I do.

Thank you Bambi.  You are too too kind.  Please come across the street and help me throw EVERYTHING away in my basement ruined in the Great Flood of 2008.  Thanks again.

I would like to bestow the Kick Ass Blogger upon the following deserving blogmen because this is one they might actually be glad to display.

Daddy Forever because he is delightful and funny without the usual snark you find so much of in the blogosphere. You rock, buddy.

Dorky Dad because he lives in Minnesota and let's his wife write his blog one day a week and once he let me interview him for my little blog.

And the "You Make MY Day Award" to three of my favorite bloggers (who also happen to be completely lacking in testosterone).

Danielle at Sitting in Silence who is such a doll and sooooo loyal.  We all love Danielle but she also makes us feel loved and that is quite a gift.

Beth at I should be Folding Laundry because she has made so many of my days that it makes me feel insecure (is that a compliment?).

And the Mad Mad Housewife over at Diary of a Mad Mad Housewife who is so funny that I need to go potty BEFORE I read her blog...ya know, just in case.

Here's hoping that all of you actually stop by to realize you got this award because I'm exhausted from hobnobbing with a major CELEBRITY this weekend...more on that when I get the pictures.

Help where help is needed

ummm...I may not be the sharpest pine tree in the forest. What? Shut up.

Today as I was preparing myself for the painful process of tap tap tapping out this message to you I noticed an icon on my log in page that had a picture of my iPod on it (no, it's not a nano thanks for asking). I clicked on it and found a whole new world.

Here's the not-so-bright part...I know I've seen that icon for months now. So, let's review. There is an application that is making this post 99 percent easier so now I have to stop complaining... I have no idea what I'll blog about, perhaps the flood in my basement? More on that tomorrow.

Mean Martha

I have this aunt. We'll call her Martha. Mostly because that is her name. She and her family lived the closest to us of any of my mother's siblings so we saw them more than the rest.

She would call on the phone and pretend that she forgot my name, "Susie, is that you? It's mean Martha."

"Aunt Martha!" I'd say, "it's me, Jenny". And we would laugh and laugh. Sometimes she would call me Susie for entire visits just to get a giggle. When you are just one of many little kids running around it feels so good to be singled out for humor.

Its also so funny that she called herself "mean" Martha because she was never mean to me and I never saw her be mean to anyone. In fact, in the last years of my grandmothers life "mean" Martha quit her job, put an addition on her own house and cared for her day and night (and let's just say that grandma was no picnic).

Aunt Martha hasn't been feeling well lately. She's having to go to the doctor more than usual. So for all of you out there who pray I ask that you mention "mean" Martha in your prayers.

And maybe there are a few people in your life you could give the mean Martha treatment to today. If we were all as mean as Martha this would be a much better world.

A Pragmatic Approach

I was sitting at the scorers table (you know, where the scorers sit). I was working on various line up options and watching the good servers on the teams that were playing. I happen to notice two of my players in the stand across the gym. One of the girls was holding a stick deoderant.

My eyes narrowed as I thought back to the talk I'd given the girls and their parents about hygene. No spray just stick anti-persperent and deoderant combined in a preferrably non-pine scent. These girls are sweet but boy can they get stinky I told them.

The tall girl was reading something off the lable of the pink and blue packaging. I was surprisingly satisfied that it wasn't pine.

The shorter girl lifted her arm and the tall girl sniffed her arm pit.

I started laughing even before the tall girl wrinkled her nose but then she slathered the shorter girls pit with white deoderant. It was a near death experience...

A Pragmatic Approach

I was sitting at the scorers table (you know, where the scorers sit). I was working on various line up options and watching the good servers on the teams that were playing. I happen to notice two of my players in the stand across the gym. One of the girls was holding a stick deoderant.

My eyes narrowed as I thought back to the talk I'd given the girls and their parents about hygene. No spray just stick anti-persperent and deoderant combined in a preferrably non-pine scent. These girls are sweet but boy can they get stinky I told them.

The tall girl was reading something off the lable of the pink and blue packaging. I was surprisingly satisfied that it wasn't pine.

The shorter girl lifted her arm and the tall girl sniffed her arm pit.

I started laughing even before the tall girl wrinkled her nose but then she slathered the shorter girls pit with white deoderant. It was a near death experience...