The washer takes between 34 minutes and 1 hour 40 minutes depending on the setting (I use the long "sanitary" setting for towels, bed clothes and the King's underwear)
The dryer takes between 30 and 40 minutes depending on how wet the clothes are and how high I put the heat -- where is that broil button?
The folding takes between 10 and 15 minutes per load depending on the number of times the three-year-old runs through the stacks.
The re-stocking of drawers, closets, and armoires takes between 5 and 10 minutes depending on how long I fold before re-stocking begins (hello? commercial break).
It takes between 8 and 14 minutes for the 9-year-old to try on every single freshly laundered item and re-stock the floor of her closet.
It takes me around 5 minutes to pick up all of the "dirty clothes" including the 9-year-old's never been worn items.
It takes me 30 minutes to explain to the 9-year-old why I will send her to military school if I ever again wash a garment from her closet floor that's never been worn. I'm kidding. No I'm not.
It takes 26 minutes of controlled breathing to not assault and batter the King every time he says something to the effect, " Honey, could you do some laundry?"
Hat tip for the washing machine photo to Pretty Gadgets.
My dryer easily takes DOUBLE the time of my washer. It just doesn't seem right, somehow.
Posted by: Beck | August 30, 2007 at 05:17 AM
You could probably cut down on your family's frivolous use of clean laundry with one simple installation -- surveillance cameras. Like dash-cams in cop cars -- you might not be able to stop the crime -- but it would at least be easier to identify the "perp." Come to think of it, an intercom would nicely complement the cameras. Then when you saw desecration of clean laundry going on you could put the fear of God in them with a booming voice suddenly saying, "Step away from the folded laundry, and no one will get hurt."
Believe it or not, you will treasure these memories AFTER your children are raised. But, of course, for now -- not so much.
Posted by: Hoosier Mama | August 30, 2007 at 06:30 AM
Nothing - and I mean NOTHING - makes me madder than washing clothes that I know are clean. It's bad enough we have to wash what's dirty...Ugh. Don't get me started!
Posted by: Christie | August 30, 2007 at 08:32 AM
"Honey I'm down to my last pair of tighty whities, could you please throw in a load?"
Them's fighting words!
Posted by: New Diva on the Blog | August 30, 2007 at 09:37 AM
Oh man, if only the laundry basket could remain empty for 2 hours I would be oh-so-happy.
It never ends.
Posted by: WhatWorksForMom | August 30, 2007 at 04:35 PM
Your husband is lucky. My wife doesn't do my laundry (I think she's defective).
Posted by: Daddy Forever | August 30, 2007 at 11:31 PM
Laundry is the one task I have convinced my 12 and 13 year old is an invaluable life skill that they would be the envy of their rather cool friends if they could master. O.K. I lied. The only reason they even do laundry is because their overburdened, overprocessed and overwhelmed mother can't seem to get 'er done. They consider doing laundry a survival skill because God knows a cool middle school kid can't be seen in the same outfit twice in a month.
Posted by: invisible neighbor | August 31, 2007 at 12:36 PM
Such a great post.
You get an "AMEN SISTER!"
Posted by: Beth F. | August 31, 2007 at 12:56 PM
I don't even get the "last pair message. My devoted husband will tell me that he wore his last pair yesterday and I guess I am supposed to magically wash and dry a load of clothes in the time it takes him to shower.
It could make any wife consider manslaughter.
Occasionally he will throw in a load of whites, but then leave them in the dryer to be folded. I say if you wash them you fold them.
Posted by: Maggie | August 31, 2007 at 06:14 PM
I could definitely relate to this. I laughed when I read the Military school threat because I use this threat on a weekly basis.
Posted by: Maribeth | September 01, 2007 at 12:23 AM
I can sooo relate to this! Oh--I notice this got posted at 1:43 AM, were you waiting for a load to finish? That would be me.
I made some decisions recently: the 17 yo and 9 yo will be doing their own laundry from now on; any laundry that has been clean, but fell on the floor or was dropped, or the cat(s) slept on it, will still be considered clean by me and will be treated as such; and if someone needs emergency laundry done, they will probably have to do it themselves, unless they have made an appointment.
Well, it looks good on paper!
Posted by: Kablina | September 03, 2007 at 08:43 AM
I am just discovering your blog! oh man, can I relate to this laundry nightmare. Especially the part where the hubby asks "can you please do some laundry?" does he think I ever get a chance to do anything but?!
Posted by: Kristi B. | September 04, 2007 at 07:48 PM