Chased by Children

Longing for Home

So Friday morning instead of going to work I got to go to the "Honors" mass at Saint Whotheheck because CoCo has achieved "Highest Honors" (Straight A with no A-).  She gets her brains from some recessive gene...but I digress.

So I got to leisurely drive the girls to school, and chat with firends, and make fun of Fr. Mike, and then go out for breakfast afterwards with my friend Jeanie.  I miss it.  Being able to be enmeshed in this community of supportive women, which I completely took for granted when I was at home.

Michelle, Jeanie, Mary Kay and I all sat together and laughed and shared inside jokes.  I got 3 million hugs from other moms.  It was heaven. 

It made me long for a time when my time was my own.

When weekends actually meant relaxation instead of harried seemingly endless preparations for the week to come.  So many nights I let the laundry go and it literally piles up for the weekend. 

Mondays were always a little hectic but not impossible, like they are now.  IM.POSS.I.BLE! 

I came home and packed for my Indianapolis trip....sigh.  This weekend would be even shorter than usual.

Now I'm not complaining about having a job.  Especially with the economy where it is.  But, every once in while I get a little sad thinking about my life at home.  and I miss it.

And now I'm off to fold laundry...6 million peices of laundry.

You Know I hate to preach.... what? shut it.

Every year Human Resources professionals across the country plan Holiday Parties.  I am one such professional.

Okay, I'm not exactly doing it myself.  or. at. all but the person who is actually planning it reports to me so, it's like I'm doing it myself, right?  Okay, maybe not.

Anyway, there is a lot of planning and effort that goes into these events.  And some of them (like the one my company will be hosting this Saturday night) serve alcohol.

Don't overserve yourself....or let your spouse overserve themselves.

It's not okay.  ever.

Also, have a plan about how you are getting home, because even a drink or two can impair your ability to captain a two-ton weapon (that's a car) home.

Thank you.

End of public service message.

Maybe I shouldn't have told you that

So, my secret blog life is out at work.  At first it was just a select few people...but I think it's getting around.  If you know what I mean.  And I know you do.

So, no more "blue" posts.  Sorry Mom, I know those are your favorites.

No more talking about the people with whom I work.  GET BACK TO WORK SLACKERS!!!

No more calling bastards, well, bastards.  ^%&*((^&  will be code for bastard now.

From now on I vow that this blog will be SFW (that's safe for work).

Let the fun begin.

I need a vacation

I love my job.

The meetings full of endless data-rich spreadsheets.

The strategizing.

The positioning.

The preparing for contingencies.

It's great.

I need a vacation. very much.

Any ideas?

Oh yes she did.

I went to a really wonderful summit this week for HR executives.  It was for Retailing HR executives....it was a lot of laughs.

It was at a hotel in downtown Chicago that was nice enough (more about that in another post).  Everyone was dressed professionally.  It was obvious that everyone there was an executive or a lawyer (read that:  a little long in the tooth, ahem) as a group we were NOT the snappiest of dressers.  However, there was one gal who stood out.

She had a wicked shiny black wedge haircut - brilliantly highlighted with caramel and styled straight as a stick.

She was wearing black platform boots 5 1/2 inches with a silver detail on the heel that practically screamed "these boots cost more than your car".

Her suit was short and black with poet sleeves and  expertly tailored to fit her very trim figure.

She had on European style glasses and tasteful jewelry.

She was so classy (as my mother and I like to say).

Then she pulled out of her very stylish handbag -- her nail clippers.

Naomi Earp, the Chairman of the EEOC was speaking to us about the status of several interesting peices of litigation and this "classy lady" was trimming her nails.

Weird.

Dear People I've Fired

I know I describe my life as a Human Resources Professional as glamorous --and it is....the spine-tingling excitement of benefits, the thrill-a-minute compensation planning, and the sheer joy of employee relations. 

However, there is a dark side.

Today I had to let two people go.  That's right. Let.them.go.

This is never good news in a persons professional life.  Otherwise we'd call it something else: like vacation.

I'd like to say that I've developed a professionalism that makes this bearable.   Actually I'd like to say a lot of things...like that I own a pony, but sadly neither of those things are true.

So here is an open letter to all of the folks who've been fired by me over the years:

Dear PIFs,

I'd like you to know that I'm sorry if I did anything in the course of firing you that made it more difficult for you to get over it. I'm sure the sobbing didn't help, thanks for the tissue(s).

I know you've probably moved on to bigger and better things and I'm happy for you (if not for your HR department).  Here's hoping that they never find out what I know about you.

Regards,

Jenny from Chicago

While I'm at work....

She cares for my offspring.

She cooks nutritious meals for them and cleans up after herself.

She does laundry.

She drives the princesses to every single one of their events and never forgets their shoes.

She shops for groceries.

She cleans up after the pets and exercises the dog.

She greets me with a smile every evening and all she asks in return is a portion of my paycheck.

I should have gotten a wife a long time ago.

The Things I See in Traffic

You would not believe the things I see in Chicago traffic on my way to work.

The truck drivers are very flirty.

And is it me, or are bumper stickers getting too wordy?  I have to get reeeeeeeeeeeal close to make out what complex message some of them are making. My theory is that if you can't say it in four or five words then it's not bumper sticker it's a driving hazard.  Who's with me?

And yet they are irrisistable to me...I MUST get close enough to read that bumper sticker. The risk is worth it on the off chance I might agree with that person...or better yet, DISAGREE!!

I see a lot of anti-Bush slogans.  I see a lot of Support the Troops "ribbons".   I see honor student messages and classic football/baseball/soccer supporters.  There are the funny and ironic and weirdly off-beat messages about life.  A lot of colleges and universities that I have never heard of....and letters, just one or two on a white background in a black circle.  It's either a cult or club that I have never been invited to join.  jerks.

There are messages of salvation and damnation.  There are police associations and community causes.  And all of these people are up early and on their way somewhere, with their message on their bumper and a little hope in their heart.  Hope that maybe someone who reads their message might find it in their heart to let them into the other lane at the next merge.  suckers.   

A Nanny for me...oh and the kids

I've been interviewing Nannies.  Is that the plural of Nanny?  It looks wrong.

Anyway, today I met a Nanny candidate who talked so movingly about her own mother's return to work that I suspect she was either sent by God or a con man.  Either way, I'll probably hire her.  Even if she's a con man at least she can teach the girls a trade.

By the way, what exactly is the difference between a babysitter and a nanny?  Wikipedia says,

A nanny is a person who looks after the child or children of one family in the child's home. Modern nannies may live in or out, like other domestic workers, depending on their circumstances and those of their employers. The traditional nanny was a servant in a large household and reported directly to the lady of the house. A governess, in contrast to a nanny, concentrated on teaching and training children.

Babysitting is the practice of temporarily caring for a child on behalf of the child's parents. Babysitting is most commonly performed as an odd job by teenagers for extra money, stereotypically, but not necessarily, girls. Babysitting can be quite lucrative in some countries, but rates vary considerably according to the location. According to Runzheimer International's Mobility Report, average hourly rates in September 2005 in the United States of America are $6.04. In New York City, the average is $11.08, whereas in some places in the U.S. , the average is $2.90.^[1] Babysitters are often employed on Friday and Saturday nights when parents wish to go out.^{[citation needed]} A babysitter is distinguished from a nanny by the term of employment; while some parents may have a regular babysitter "on retainer," so to speak, the sitter is normally contracted one night at a time.

Public Service for the day?  check.

I might be a Superhero

Today in a staff meeting one of my team was telling a story, and said, "and then Jenny gave him THE LOOK and it was all over".  And everyone around the table started nodding.

"The look?"  I asked.

"You know when you look really hard at somebody and it looks like laser beams are coming out of your eyes"

"Uh...what?"

Someone else chimed in, "yeah, when you use that look it gets pretty intense."

Nervous laugh from me, "really?"

Everyone still nodding.

"Well, good to know."   

I guess I'm still shifting from Mom mode to Work mode these days.  What they are describing is my patented, "you better say please" look. I think it will make me very effective, I just wish I could also send them to their rooms sometimes.  Is that so wrong?