It's not an entire pint of chocolate peanutbutter ice cream by Haagen Daaz.
It's not biscuits and gravy (bacon gravy using my grandmother's recipe)
It's not chili with cornbread.
It's not a chimichanga from El Molino's.
So, we can rule those things out. But trust me when I tell you that I will continue my rigorous testing until I find the cure.