I stole this idea from Noble Savage. If you haven't read her stuff you should go check it out. Here are 15 things I should have said over the years...
1. That fruit isn't real. Put it down. Seriously, don't bite it.
2. Stop acting nice to me, I know the things you say. At least respect me enough to ignore me.
3. I can't tell if you look fat or not. I can only see my darling friend who it's great to be with no matter what she looks like physically.
4. Stop being mean to me. You don't want to know what I'm capable of.
5. You're not really smart enough to make that statement with such confidence.
6. You are so lucky I don't have money.
7. Your decible level is inappropriate.
8. Whining won't get you what you want.
9. There aren't enough hours in the day to keep this house clean. Deal with it.
10. Can you ask your child not to draw on my sofa?
11. Wow, that is a really self-serving statement. What? Shut up.
12. Your priorities make me cringe.
13. Stop complaining, it bores me.
14. Love is not controlling.
15. Letterman is too better.