Okay, so I didn't make any resolutions but I did put on my Amazing Carnac Turbin yesterday and had the following items pop into my head.
1. I will lose a lot of weight (35 lbs) and almost immediately cellulite will become the new black (and found to increase your life span by 10 years). I will try desperately to gain back the weight but will eventually just reconcile myself to loving me the way I am. Tee Hee!
2. Shannon, from Rocks in My Dryer will stop supporting Mike Huckabee for president and throw her own stylish hat in the ring. She will create a ground swell of support from all of her blogging fans and win in a landslide. She will single handedly bring peace to the middle east, balance the budget, and redecorate the West Wing -- all using tips from Works for Me Wednesday.
3. Dorky Dad will finally watch an episode of The Office. It will change his life. He will send money to whoever has been subtly suggesting that he do this. lots. of. money. He will join forces with Daddy Forever and they will change the face of fatherhood forever. not in a good way.
4. Melanie from Don't Try this at Home WILL try it at home and discover that she had nothing to worry about.
5. Brother Gunny will run in a local election which will launch him on his path to the White House. I will immediately begin making myself over in the image of Billy Carter and Roger Clinton. Think "Jenny Beer", "Jenny and the Blogetts", "First Sister Spills the President's Secret Life of Def Leopard Fandom- National Enquirer Headlines".
6. Zipoc will introduce a new bag that actually CAN be used to make omlettes in boiling water without leaching chemicals into your gullet. Add Humor and Faith author will be vindicated.
7. Say Anything will become the most visited site in the entire blogosphere. Bambi won't let it go to her head but she will move to a better neighborhood. Those left behind will be devastated enough to write a tell-all book. Lisa from Take 90 West will move into Bambi's old house and gets everyone in the neighborhood addicted to hot chocolate.
8. Jenny from Chicago will be invited to join the cast of The View, to replace Elisabeth Hassleback, after the show moves to Chicago and into Oprah's old studio. Oprah will leave her show, shave her head and take a spiritual sabbatical with Bob Green in Aruba. Jenny will declare victory as she tears out the very.last.row.of.seats.
9. Beth from I Should be Folding Laundry will become the new Annie Liebovitz and begin photographing all of Hollywood. She will use her fame and influence for good (despite what most people would have guessed). She will mentor Paris, Lindsay, and Britney and be credited with their complete turn-around. All three will become productive members of society eventually joining the Rosemont Police Dept. and helpfully keeping people from taking their camera's into Hannah Montana concerts.
10. You will all ask 10 people to start reading Chased by Children every day and they will. Next week those ten people will ask 10 people and so on and so on until I take over the world.
Take these predictions to the bank. They will happen. Bet on it.